Book Review
Dirty Laundry
Why adults with ADHD are so ashamed and what we can do to help
An honest, hilarious, and heartfelt guide to life with ADHD, transforming shame into self-acceptance.
An honest, hilarious, and heartfelt guide to life with ADHD, transforming shame into self-acceptance.
Richard Pink & Roxanne Emery
Self-Help / Mental Health / ADHD / Relationships
Approx. 160 pages
Listening Length: 4 hours and 2 minutes
Narrator: Richard Pink and Roxanne Emery
This book is for people with ADHD and for the partners, friends, or family members who want to understand them better. It speaks to anyone struggling with overwhelm, executive dysfunction, or shame around productivity, offering a compassionate perspective on neurodiversity and relationships.
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This review is based off the audiobook version of Dirty Laudry. The book blends psychology, personal experience, and relationship advice to explore the emotional realities of living with ADHD and how it can shape daily life and relationships.
The audiobook is particularly engaging because it is narrated by the authors themselves, making the stories and insights feel very personal and conversational. Hearing their conversations and reflections in their own voices makes the content feel authentic and almost like listening to an honest discussion about ADHD rather than a traditional self-help book.
The chapters are structured in short, digestible sections that mix storytelling with explanation, making the ideas accessible and easy to reflect on. This book is ideal for people with ADHD who want to understand themselves better, rather than trying to “fix” ADHD, it also focuses on understanding, empathy, and healthier communication in relationships.
Richard and Roxanne are partners who wrote Dirty Laundry to explore what ADHD really looks like in everyday life and relationships. Through honest stories and humour, they unpack misunderstandings, emotional struggles, and practical ways couples can support each other when ADHD is part of the relationship.

Is a singer-songwriter, artist, and mental health advocate who was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. She brings a deeply personal perspective to the book, describing the internal experience of ADHD, including overwhelm, shame, creativity, and the journey toward self-acceptance.

Is a filmmaker and creative director. In Dirty Laundry, he shares the perspective of being the non-ADHD partner (recently diagnosed Autistic), offering insight into the confusion, frustrations, and growth that can happen when learning to understand a neurodivergent partner with compassion.
I cried. I sobbed. I absolutely bawled my eyes out throughout most of this book and I listened to the entire audiobook in a single day.
At the time, I had just moved into my home and it was my first time living alone. Suddenly all the “basic adult things” — like setting up bills, choosing energy providers, and organising what internet provider was going to rip me off less — made me feel completely inadequate. I felt like I had somehow failed at life because these seemingly simple tasks felt so overwhelming.
As I don’t believe in coincidences this book was a blessing and perfectly timed. Listening to Rox talk about her experiences helped me realise I wasn’t alone and that I wasn’t a useless mess. Some things simply don’t come easily to us “Neuro-spicy Peeps” — yet in other situations we can be incredibly capable. I might be able to help everyone survive an apocalypse… but paying the electricity bill on time? That’s a different story.
Before reading the book, I had already watched a lot of their content on ADHD_love. I loved their humour and the way they created a new “ADHD dictionary” words to describe experiences many of us struggle to explain. So, when they shared they had written a book, I didn’t hesitate to invest in it and I’m so glad I did. This book didn’t just help me understand ADHD better, it helped me understand myself and my spicy brain-box.
A few personal reflections and key takeaways from this book, along with insights I’ve gained from their content and my understanding of their mission to support the ADHD and neurodivergent community in healing, self-acceptance, and living authentically.
One of the most powerful parts of the audiobook was the narration. Rox and Rich speak with such empathy, honesty, and vulnerability that it feels less like a typical self-help book and more like listening to a real conversation about their lives, their relationship, and how they move through the world.
Their storytelling brings the experiences to life, making the moments feel vivid and real — almost as if you’re right there with them. Despite the depth of the subject, the book remains incredibly easy to digest.
One of the biggest things this book showed me was what it looks and sounds like when someone genuinely loves and understands another person.
Listening to Rich talk about the effort he put into understanding Rox and working on himself completely shifted something in me. It made me realise that this kind of love — compassionate, curious, supportive — actually exists.
It also helped me raise my own standards, values and desires for what I want in relationships... Because if someone can love like that, then WOW! It’s 100% possible for me too!
Another huge takeaway was the relief of discovering that I’m not the only person who struggles with those everyday “mundane” tasks. I could jump out of an aeroplane without hesitation, but choosing an energy provider? Setting up internet? Making sure bills are paid on time and money is in the right account? Those things are debilitating and feel impossible.
Finding out there’s an entire community of people who experience the same struggles was incredibly validating, liberating and empowering.
This part didn’t just come from the book, but from their wider content and platform.
They introduced me to the concept of body doubling in action. It’s a simple idea — having someone present while you complete tasks. They don’t even need to help. Just being there can increase focus, motivation and it’s surprisingly effective, helpful and supportive.
Sometimes just having someone sit in the room while you tidy up, check in on you, or hold you accountable can make you far more likely to actually wash the dishes, clean the house or do some dreaded admin. It was a small way for me to ask for help without guilt or shame.
If Dirty Laundry made you feel seen or understood, these books dive deeper into themes of healing, habits, and self-discovery. They each offer powerful insights for navigating life with more awareness and compassion.

James Clear
Small habits and science-backed strategies that show how consistent changes can lead to powerful life transformations.
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Laura Clery
A raw and hilarious memoir about addiction, recovery, and the messy journey of becoming yourself.
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Bessel van der Kolk
A powerful exploration of how trauma lives in the body and how healing can begin.
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Emma Edwards
An empowering guide to understanding your relationship with money, helping you build confidence, clarity, and healthier financial habits.
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